Welcome to Sunday

It is the start of a brand new week.

I had a bad dream and I woke up feeling angry at the world, because I feel alone, I'm mad at my "friends" for not being there. I'm mad at my mom for leaving me alone in the world. I'm mad at my family for not wanting to be a part of my life and not being there for my children.  I'm mad at my children's father for not being the man I need him to be.  I'm mad at Mr. Perfect for not being here.  I am mad at myself for needing others and feeling like its some how my fault that I'm not good enough or worthy.  I am mad at myself for feeling that I only reach out to people when I need something. I'm mad that my life is not what I want it to be and I don't have the courage to make it happen.

Then a childhood friend that I haven't seen in years tells me she wishes I was closer because she misses her friend.  She has no idea what that meant to me.

I have to consider how blessed I am.  So many of the people around me are so much worse off then I am.  Dealing with addiction, serious health issues, don't have their children in there lives, or are homeless. I may not be where I want to be but I am blessed right where I am.

So on that note I'm kicking myself in the butt so I can get this crib done!!!