So everybody hates Monday right.... well I slept in till noon cuz I didn't go to sleep until 5:30. Which these days is pretty usual. When I got up I got a lead on a job but I am waiting to hear back on the specifics. its a Job I've applied for in the past that was filled but the girl apparently quit or got fired. Slight feelings of hopefulness as My #1 reference use to be the President of the organization and is friends with the current President. Cant help but think I'm setting myself up for another crash and burn.... Been talking to a friend who is also unemployed and facing losing her house. She wants to do something to lift her depression and wants me to join her. She wants to try meditation..... I spent most of the evening with her.
So another interesting event today.... I got a msg on fb from some girl asking if I was i a relationship with Mr. Perfect because he asked her out and if I was then she would say no..... So I let him know and of course He blamed it on his ex trying to start trouble..... He is probably full of shit but I want to believe him. It doesn't make any sense though. I've been really aggravated about him not getting back to me in a timely manner and he hasn't been bugging me to video chat like he use to...... I'm probably being a dumb ass. But does it even matter? He is 300 miles away and the fairy tale makes me feel better anyway.
Then there is the Baby Daddy.... I have been asking him to clean up his side of our bedroom Since friday and he has been sitting in front of the TV watching Football all weekend or hanging with his friends getting High and playing with the beats.... He was an aspiring MC until he woke up and realized that there are no 40 year old artists breaking into the industry. I guess we are traveling back down this road... but that isn't what has me twisted today. He was suppose to have an interview today that he rescheduled from friday. Well he rescheduled it again.... he got dressed said he was going to the City to find out about about the Job lead and to cash his check mind you this was at 1:00 and he just got home at 11:00 and suprize he didn't go cash his check (he probably cashed it friday and spent it on weed all weekend) He told me one story then when I said something regarding what he said the story changed and it was my fault because I never listen.
I swear these men think I'm stupid.... They can tell all the lies they want but I see right through them.
So most of the day I've been bored and aggravated wishing people would just be honest with me and struggling to decide if the thinking that everyone is full of shit is because they are or because That is what I've been trained to think.... I'm a very selfish person and I am needy and want to be the center of everyone's life. Or at least want to be the center of someones life.... Definitely feeling the need to feel special.
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